The Prank
by girl-in-violet
Summary: This is yet another story with Harry and Ginny trying to get Ron and Hermione together. Will they succeed?
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER - The Harry Potter characters are products of my highly over-active imagination and I have the right to make them do **whatever** I want. **GIVES EVIL LAUGH OF DOOM!**  
Yeah, right.

* * *

In the Common Room, a blazing row was in progress which could even be heard in the dormitories; to which refuge many younger students had fled, in the false hope that they could continue their work in peace at least there.   
  
Older students could be heard explaining to the as yet uninitiated (who were wearing expressions identical to the one Harry might have worn on seeing that Dudley had managed to get to the size of a baby elephant from that of a baby whale) that this fracas was a common ritual and they had better get used to regarding at as a background 'music' (for want of a better term), for the frequency of the arguments, they assured the awed spectators, was increasing in proportion to the volume.   
  
Fellow 6th years, who, it might reasonably be supposed, ought to have got used to the Weasley – Granger skirmish were valiantly trying to continue their work as if nothing untoward had happened, but were forced to accept defeat and follow the behaviour of their younger counterparts. Ron and Hermione had moved onto the 2nd phase of their battle, which involved throwing random things at each other, and since nobody wanted to harbour a bump on the forehead (Cause: Hermione misdirecting _'Hogwarts : A History'_) or a broken nose (Cause: Ron misaiming a spell), they all removed themselves from the vicinity.   
  
The only two people left were Ginny, Ron's sister and Harry, who could be considered in the role of Hermione's brother. They were safely hidden behind a couch and were currently engaged in the task of betting when Hermione would move to the 3rd and final stage of the battle.   
  
"Any minute now," whispered Ginny.   
  
"Nah. She is still going strong," said Harry staunchly. But as it happened, he was wrong. Barely were the words out of his mouth when Hermione turned tail and ran, leaving a trail of tears on the carpet, and a very indignant Ron in her wake.   
  
"I win!" declared Ginny triumphantly.   
  
"She _always_ does it!" cried Ron resentfully. "Starts the argument, hurls all kinds of insults at me, and then runs away crying. If she supposes she can make me feel guilty and apologise she has another think coming. After all, **she** was the one who started it. Just because-"  
  
Harry tuned him out and began working on his Potions homework, which he had just realized, was due the next day. He gave murmurs of assent when he thought the occasion demanded.   
  
"Harry, are you listening?" demanded an extremely irate Ron after talking himself hoarse.   
  
"He stopped listening to you about 15 minutes ago and has employed the time very profitably in finishing his Potions homework," said Ginny, who at least had been avidly listening to Ron.   
  
A pair of blue eyes and a pair of green eyes turned to glare at her.   
  
"What?" she asked innocently. "I was only stating facts."   
  
Ron snorted. "Friends and siblings like the ones I have make Malfoy and his goons seem almost saintly." Ignoring indignant protests from his best mate and sister, he stomped off towards the boys' dormitories.   
  
"Now look what you have done," said Harry reproachfully.   
  
"I think that went off very well. I had lost hopes of getting you alone tonight," said Ginny with an impish smile that widened when she saw Harry's expression.   
  
"Take your mind from the gutter, Harry! I wasn't harbouring any _designs_ on you."   
  
Harry went red and Ginny stifled a snicker. "What I actually wanted to talk with you about was - my plan to get Ron and Hermione to stop arguing and start kissing."   
  
Harry's eyebrows shot up so high that they were in danger of receding into his hairline.   
  
"What?" Ginny asked impatiently, noticing his expression of disbelief. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed."   
  
"Noticed what? Them quarrelling incessantly with one another? Do you seriously mean to tell me that bickering constantly with someone is a way to express your love?"   
  
"Come_on_ Harry. Haven't you read stories about people who always quarreled but ultimately ended up together? It's chemistry, Harry. Opposites attract."   
  
Harry repeated his maneuver with his eyebrows. "You're actually trying to bring them together on the basis of some trashy romance novels?"   
  
"They're **not** trashy. They are Classics," said Ginny getting side-tracked. Then she came back to the point in question. "_Everybody_ knows that they like each other except themselves, and now it seems, you. And I think they too have realized that fact and are just in denial."   
  
Harry opened his mouth, but she continued relentlessly. "According to those _so-called trashy novels _, the wrangling between the two protagonists will continue (with petty jealousies and rumours thrown in) until it reaches the climax, when one or the other (usually it is the male) suddenly stops the argument by kissing the leading lady. Then (after an interlude which doesn't get described due to the rating) they confess their love for each other and reveal how all the quarrelling was just an outlet for their emotions which they could neither hold in nor let out." Ginny stopped, wondering if her eloquence had managed to convince Harry at all.   
  
Harry looked as if he had gone on a roller coaster soon after eating his lunch. "Ginny, my brain has just finished working on a devilishly tricky Potions homework. It can't handle anything more complicated than going to sleep. If only to stop you from spouting love stories at me whenever we meet, I say that I am convinced and will acquiesce to your plan, whatever it may be."   
  
Ginny blinked at the language he was using. Maybe _her_ brain needed some sleep as well. At least she understood the gist of what he said – he would be her partner in crime. _Crime?_ Yep. She _definitely_ needed sleep.

* * *

REVIEW NOW OR REVIEW LATER  
IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME EITHER  
BUT LEAVING A REVIEW IS A MUST  
TO ESCAPE BEING TURNED INTO DUST!  
  
No, I'm not insane. Just a bit mad. After all, all geniuses are a bit mad. 


	2. Ch2

DISCLAIMER - The Harry Potter characters are products of my highly over-active imagination and I have the right to make them do **whatever** I want. **GIVES EVIL LAUGH OF DOOM!**  
Yeah, right.

* * *

"Let's go in here. We'll be safe from interruptions," said Ginny dragging Harry into the Room of Requirement.   
  
One half of the room had pink walls, a table, two chairs, a huge pile of blank parchments, two quills and a plate full of sweets. (_'I thought the sugar would help stimulate the brain,'_ said Ginny) The other half had plain white walls and a huge poster bed with hangings.   
  
"Harry!" exclaimed Ginny exasperatedly. "The **one** day you don't have Quidditch Practice, homework, or any prior commitments, and all you want is to _sleep_! Honestly!"   
  
Harry winced. Ginny could sometimes look like an uncanny younger version of Molly Weasley and he now knew how Arthur Weasley felt, being at the receiving end of her rants. "Sorry," he said and the bed disappeared.   
  
"Harry, I want you to really give your whole mind to this," said Ginny. "Imagine, if this succeeds you'll never have to listen to their squabbling again!"   
  
Harry wasn't so sure about that. In fact he was certain that their interfering would do more harm than good. Ron and Hermione _fancying_ each other? Not in a million years! Nevertheless, in a moment of madness he had promised to be her ally in whatever hare-brained scheme she cooked up. Maybe he had been sleep-walking. Yes, that was what he would tell Ron and Hermione if they ever found about this.   
  
Meanwhile Ginny had seated herself on one of the chairs and was impatiently waiting for him to follow her. He hurriedly sat down. "So, what do you have in mind?"   
  
Ginny took out a book from her bag, which had **'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes'** embossed on the shocking pink cover in fluorescent green. Harry immediately felt his stomach drop. If Fred and George had anything to do with this, it definitely would be more dangerous than facing a basilisk.   
  
"Whatever is written in this book will be instantly reproduced by the subject," said Ginny interrupting his horror filled thoughts.   
  
"What?"   
  
Ginny opened the book. On the 1st page was printed -   
  
_**NAME OF PRANKSTER 1 -   
NAME OF PRANKSTER 2 -   
  
NAME OF VICTIM -   
  
**_ "See, we sign our names in the first two blanks and then get the victim to write his name in the 3rd blank," explained Ginny. "He should be the last person to handle the book. We, as the pranksters can touch the book whenever we want, but nobody else, apart from the victim, must lay a hand on it. After his fingerprints are recorded by the book, we unleash the evil!" She gave an evil cackle.   
  
Harry drew back a little. "What exactly does the book do?"   
  
"I _told_ you earlier. Whatever we write in it, the actions will be exactly mirrored by the victim. Now suppose I write, 'The victim will now eat a vomit- lavoured bean', he will proceed to do so. Of course, it won't cause any real damage to the victim. I mean, even if I write that the victim should jump off from the Astronomy Tower, he won't do it. It makes the victim do only harmless stuff."   
  
Harry suspected that the meaning of 'harmless stuff' would vary a great deal in the dictionaries of Ginny and the 'victim'. "So how does this book feature in our ..uh..plans?" he asked.   
  
"Well, Ron is going to be our victim (as you might have guessed) and we are going to make him declare his love for Hermione."   
  
"WHAT?!"   
  
Ginny frowned. "Harry, if you want to exercise your vocal chords, please don't do it in this closed room." She admonished.  
  
"But Ginny, Ron must declare his love (_if_ he is in that state, which I highly doubt) for Hermione of his own free will. We can't _force_ him to do anything against his will. That will be like casting the Imperius curse on him."   
  
"Oh, please! The Imperius curse makes people do _evil_ things, which we are not going to do, and moreover, this will _not_ be against his will. He signifies his willingness the moment he signs his name in the book. And what do you mean, he must declare his love for Hermione of his own free will? If he had had the brains or the guts to do so, would we be here, plotting?"   
  
"But how will we get Ron to sign his name in a book which has 'Weasley's Wizard Wheezes' printed on it?" asked Harry, clutching at the one loophole he could see, in Ginny's otherwise 'perfect' plans.   
  
"Leave that to me," said Ginny confidently.   
  
Ginny looked at the black book in her hand with satisfaction. All the pages in it were blank._'Quite a nice bit of spellwork,'_ she thought to herself. She looked towards where Ron was sitting and she spotted Hermione there as well. _'Good,'_ she thought, smiling gleefully. She could now kill two birds with one stone.   
  
She walked over to them. It was one of those rare occasions when Ron and Hermione were sitting companionably doing their homework, instead of flying at each other's throats. "Oh Ron," said Ginny sitting next to him on the couch.   
  
"What?" asked Ron without looking up.   
  
"Ron, a friend of mine from Hufflepuff is besotted with you." There was a crash. Hermione had dropped her books. Ginny smiled to herself and continued. "She thinks you are the Adonis of Hogwarts." Another crash. This time it was Ron's books which followed Hermione's, vying for a place on the floor. "She bugs me endlessly to introduce you to her."   
  
Ron looked as if Ginny had just told him that he was to be fed to Aragog.   
  
Ginny, oblivious to his discomfort was continuing. "She is a nice girl and all that, but as far as looks go, let's just say she makes Eloise Midgen look like a ravishing beauty."   
  
Ron blanched.   
  
"So what about it, Ron?"   
  
"No way! I…uh..am not interested in…you know.._girls_ and all that stuff." His face was beet red and Ginny had a hard time controlling her laughter.   
  
"But she won't leave me in peace until I give her the promised introduction!" said Ginny. "She even threatened me that if I don't introduce you to her, she would take the aid of a love potion."   
  
Hermione's eyes widened. "A love potion? But isn't that-"  
  
Ron interrupted. "Tell her I'm already taken or something. Please Ginny, just don't let her come within 10 feet of me." He was desperate.   
  
"Well, there **is** something you could do to get her off your back," said Ginny.   
  
"Anything," promised Ron recklessly.   
  
"She wants your autograph."   
  
"Is that all?" Ron leant forward and took the black book from Ginny. She pointed to a blank space in the middle of the page. He took his quill, but paused before signing. "You're sure she isn't going to do any spells with my signature?"   
  
"Yes, I'm sure," said Ginny impatiently. "Now sign."   
  
"I don't have to write, _'With Love_', or anything of that sort, do I?" asked Ron anxiously.   
  
"For God's sake Ron!" exclaimed Hermione peevishly. "Who do you think you are, a pop-star or somebody? Just sign your name and be done with it."   
  
Ginny held her breath. Would Ron retaliate? She knew what would happen if both of them got into their 'argument mode'. Her job would never get done.   
  
Fortunately for her Ron didn't hit back. He signed and got back to his work. Hermione seemed startled at his lack of reaction, but Ginny didn't wait to see what would ensue. She took the book and ran back to her room. She couldn't wait to tell (or maybe boast would be a better word) Harry of her success.

* * *

**THERE WAS A GIRL IN JERUCHIO,  
WHO NEVER DID REVIEW.  
SHE DIDN'T HEED THE WARNING,  
SHE WAS BUSY SINGING,  
ONE FINE DAY SHE TURNED INTO ASH,  
AND WAS SWEPT OUT WITH THE TRASH.  
  
** Look out for my book of poems to be released next month. Free copies to those who **don't** review! 


End file.
